3 favorite recipes

I think I’ve mentioned before, my motivation to cook comes and goes. I’ll go along for a couple of weeks being Betty Crocker and then it will be takeout for a week. Everyone needs a break once in awhile, right? And a Kit Kat.

When I am on a cooking spree though, for some reason I always am wanting to find and make new recipes, when I have like a ton that I’ve made and know are good and that Joseph would really be happy if I’d make again. I should work on that.

Anyway, there are a few that make a regular rotation in our house. Here are three:

1. Spaghetti Bolognese
This is just solid comfort food. It’s pretty easy to make and is wonderful as leftovers. My only changes are to halve the amounts of cinnamon and nutmeg and to use spicy italian sausage where it calls for regular pork sausage.

2. Spicy Black Bean Burgers
Great meatless meal. I usually serve these with avocado, tomato, lettuce and spicy mayo.

3. Salty Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies (picture by Bon Appetit)
This is my current go-to cookie recipe. Excellent cookies. Now, there are tons and tons of recipes out there for ‘perfect’ chocolate chip cookies. I even have at least two other recipes that qualify as ‘really really good if not perfect’ cookies, but these are what I’m making these days in a pinch. And there are a lot of pinches.

the early months / depression

Depression is a funny thing. And by funny, I mean really not funny.

Because when you’re in it, it feels so real. It is real. You feel like life is so hopeless and you lose your motivation to do anything. You lose your enjoyment of the small joys in life (and the big joys too, I guess). You don’t care about what food you eat, or if you see your friends, or what TV show you watch…if you even want to watch TV. You just don’t want to do anything, but you have to, because a tiny human is depending on you.

And by you, I mean me. Let’s just cut to the chase here. We all knew that’s who I was talking about.

I experienced a dose of postpartum depression. It could have been much worse, but it was there. There were moments when I would catch a glimpse of my former self, brief periods of happiness when I was out with friends or, let’s be honest, having a glass or two of wine. But most of the time I just slogged through life, just making it through each day, only to do it all again the next day – and that in itself was daunting.

The thing is, that though depression is real, oftentimes the things you’re depressed about aren’t real. Your life can be beautiful, you can have a beautiful baby girl and a loving husband, supportive friends and family, all your needs met, and you can’t even appreciate it. (Whoops, I’m doing it again. I mean me.) Life can feel hopeless when it’s really not. It’s very crippling.

I remember when Simona was somewhere around 4 or 5 months, and I was still having bouts of crying  and some of those same feelings of hopelessness. I thought, how can this still be postpartum stuff? Doesn’t that go away within the first couple months?

I guess not. I think it can last even longer than I struggled with it, which was about 5 months or so. Maybe even 6. I still have my days, even now at 9 months. But maybe that’s not related…maybe those are my own issues. Who knows? I have problems.

We considered getting help, but I felt embarrassed and like something was wrong with me, and didn’t want to share my feelings with a doctor. I felt like I should surely be able to conquer this…to just snap out of it. But as Joseph kindly phrased, “If your leg was broken, you wouldn’t feel embarrassed about going to the doctor. This is a real thing.”

Depression is real, but it isn’t really you. It may feel like you, it may feel like your new reality, but it isn’t. I remember a particularly bad night, feeling like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, and Joseph telling me, “I know you’re in there somewhere.” That was hope in itself to me, because he was recognizing and letting me know that this wasn’t truly who I was.

I’m so thankful for my loving and supportive husband. Without him, I think I would have just been curled up in a corner somewhere, crying, with Simona somewhere nearby, crying too because her mom is a nutcase. Joseph was patient with me, and kind, as he always is. And so was God. And my mom. And now I feel like I’m making an Oscar acceptance speech. I’d also like to thank chocolate.

It’s a little odd writing these things now, especially since I feel pretty much like myself again. But I think it’s important to be honest and to share what I went through, just to prove, as Joseph kept (keeps?) telling me, that it will get better. You may be in a really dark phase, but it will pass. That’s just a fact of life. You’ll probably even get to learn from and it and grow too, or something like that.

3 products

These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of family reunions and weddings. Well, just one of each, but then all the stuff that goes along with a 3-day family getaway and being in a wedding. All good, all fun, but there’s something nice about getting back into the swing of normalcy. For me, at least.

These are three things I’ve discovered over the past couple of whirl-weeks that I’m really loving:


1. Small Talk 3/4-inch styling wand by Bed Head
I’ve been looking for waves like this for my short(ish) hair, and I’VE FINALLY FOUND THEM. Everything else I try leaves me with one or two weird bumps (in my hair) that go away the next day. Picked this up a couple days before the wedding and used it to do my hair for the big day, and the waves were perfect. Not too tight, not too loose. And they lasted until the next day, and even looked pretty good the third day, and now you know how long I wait until I wash my hair sometimes. The picture above was second-day waves.

2. Halo hydrating perfecting powder by Smashbox
Another pre-wedding purchase, as I’ve been looking to get a good powder for some time now. So…I didn’t plan on spending this much but the lady put some on me at Ulta, and by the time I had gotten home I decided I wanted to buy it. It’s just really good. It doesn’t look cakey or powdery at all and actually manages to even out your skin tone (and add glow too?). It’s kind of all you need on a daily basis, but then slap on some primer and/or foundation underneath it for special times. It’s the stuff.

3. Trader Joe’s Watermelon Cucumber cooler
This is super refreshing and delicious. That’s really all there is to it. I think it’s new, cause I’ve never seen it there before…and that’s saying something. It’s a bit sweet, but I like sweet. And if you like cucumber water, you’ll love this.


Disclaimer
: No one is paying me to say these things…but they should be.